Eww, Don't Eat at the Table!!!

You see a lot of wild sex on television and the movies. Usually, two impassioned lovers pull off each other's clothes and do it wherever. Sometimes it's the kitchen table, sometimes it's the floor. The thing by the time all the sex takes place in and around these areas, you really don't want to eat there. There are a few places where you can safely eat. One of them is the couch, where most of us sit down to a nice family dinner with you and Kim Kardashian (or the current celeb du jour). The other place to eat a nice dinner is the bed. Since the wild, rafter-rattling sex is going on in the dining room or in the kitchen sink (who can forget Michael Douglas and Glenn Close), the bed is the best bet for sanitary dining. Go ahead and eat there to your hearts content. But be warned, when your significant other said he or she would not kick you out of bed for eating crackers it was 1984. You might need to get that one in writing to make it stick.