Does Pink Make You Gay?

One day when I was out with some work friends for a birthday, I happened to be wearing a pink sweater and a man came up to me, stroked my arm and then said, “Oh, is that pink?”

My face probably turned about 14 shades of red and answered him, “Yes it is.”

Since then I have been rebuffed by my wife when talking about adding a pink item of clothing to my wardrobe.  Now to be fair with her, she  may have been just expressing trepidation that I was getting any type of garment at all, since I have about a million clothing items. 

But I really miss having something pink in my wardrobe.  I happen to think it’s a nice color with my hair and I don’t see why men can’t wear pink.  And come to think of it, my lucky tie is pink.  Well, it was pink.  I guess it ain’t so lucky anymore since I have lost it or given it to Goodwill. 

The thing I remember about wearing pink is there were no tremors in my sexuality.  I did not suddenly start liking musical theater (I confess I already did), nor did I feel the urge to go to a Madonna concert.  I sort of felt like going to a Barbara Streisand concert, but that’s more from being half Jewish than from pink bleaching my heterosexuality.  I'm just kidding about the Streisand bit.  I only learned that Jews like her from watching "The Nanny".  None of my Jewish relatives like her in any insane way, as far as I know.  

So, next time I see something in pink I like I’m going ahead and buying it because I like pink and I’m a good person an people like me.  Well, no pink cars or bikes.