The Argument For Unfettered Gun Rights

The Argument For Unfettered Gun Rights

In the U.S. right now we have an irritating rule of law that just flies in the face of our want and desire to defend our personal sovereignty down to the definition of the word “is” and the phrase “assault rifle” and we must be vigilant against anybody who says anything we don’t like, which means of course the fedora goberment, stupid.  Thus, we should have minute men armed with personal grenade launchers and assault, I mean semi-automatic riles and tanks if we can afford one to be able to seize any federal building we like. 

Now, I can hear  you saying “Paul, there is such thing as majority rule and the minority must go along with the majority, even on gun laws.  And no one may take the law into his own hands.  I say the judiciary has the right to rule the legislature unconstitutional and thus, as the Supreme Court of One, I may use my personal legal education (as provided by Google, as in Google it if you don’t believe me) to find the fedora goberment in contempt (of me).  

Thus, we have the full legal right to make a sneak attack on an uninhabited federal office in button-fork, OR and demand full restitution of our right to pollute the people’s land, carry loaded weapons in public (excepting black people, even to carry toy guns), ride at the front of the bus and all sorts of other shit, because Lincoln said so, and if he didn’t Washington did.  Just google it if you don’t believe me.  

And it is our right to not only continue holding our little bastion of personal liberty in the forrest (which may sound like the right to take a leak outside, but it’s actually more), but to have the principle of one man, one gun, I mean many guns, and tanks and nuclear air craft carriers, if we so desire.  And by the way, we ordered Dominos, so let the pizza delivery man pass under a flag of truce.  

Thus let it be known today that the Declaration of Independence, the Gary, Indiana Statement of Personal (gun) Liberty and and Indira Gandhi give us the inalienable right to gun-**** anybody we don’t like when we want to and how we want to.  

And Jesus loves me, yes I know.