Tinker Bell-the Unauthorized Biography

Tinker Bell dyed her hair blonde, that little slut! I couldn't believe a nice redhead like her would do this! I was beside myself. Then again, since she’s a blonde, she was on the A list in Hollywood.

She still did nude scenes when it is naturally occurring within the script. She became a CILF. Tink did a spread in Maxim one month and Playboy the next. Agents and producers began comparing up and coming actresses to her, as in "So and so is a real up and comer, she's Tinker Bell meets Golda Meir". Every actress should be a pop star too, and in rap circles she became known as T-Bell. She was outted as a lesbian in an affair with singer Susan Boyle. After considerable press, she declared she is bi-sexual and she likes men too. Eventually she aged and put on some weight, and inevitably some paparazzi caught her from behind showing a fat butt and cellulite, and she was be mocked in the press for her weight gain.

She responded indignantly that there’s nothing wrong with her body, and that it’s natural for a woman to put on a little weight as she ages and even add cellulite in the thighs and get a larger butt. Then she gott her hiney in gear and hit the gym six days a week with a personal trainer, did pilates, lifted weights, did yoga and ran. Then did another spread for Maxim and when interviewed by the magazine, she will said she got into shape for the sake of her health, not in response to any particular photograph of her. Eventually, she aged and once her self-esteem hits bedrock, she did a fully nude spread for Playboy.

T-Bell did guest spot on Disney’s Aladdin and met Princess Jasmine. Princess Jasmine introduced-Bell to Cinderella, Snow White, Belle and Snooki. They went clubbing every night until they were more famous for clubbing than they were for being actresses. They got their own reality TV show called "The Real Princesses of Orange County" and teenagers everywhere wore wear shorts and sweats with “TINK” written across their asses in twill lettering. Tink had a falling out with Princess Jasmine as she was caught in a compromising position with Bruce Jenner, and we learned Jasmine had been leading a double life as Kim Kardashian. Jasmine/Kim was furious about the indiscretion with her step-father and she never spoke to Tink again. After the loss of Jasmin's friendship, Tink spiraled down to rock bottom again. Eventually, T-Bell was photographed exiting a limo-going commando underneath her short skirt. Then she had another breakdown, shaved her head and married Pinocchio. But this is not the end for our pixie. In a fit of jealousy, Pinocchio’s ex, Tara Reid, stalked T-Bell, captured her and put her in a mason jar. She was freed by a few of the toons already in Reid’s room in her parents house as they hopped across the room to the window, and across the highway to the pixie terminal where she caught a flight to Cleveland. T-Bell’s heroic escape enthralled the nation, but her career winds down. A few years later, her career is chronicled on E! True Hollywood Story.